The topic for our business network group meeting this morning was – surprise, surprise – goals! In the business world it’s all about SMART goals, but they don’t work for me or a lot of other people, and I can explain why I think this is the case.
Some people feel boxed in by setting a specific goal, especially with a limited time frame in which to achieve it. SMART goals create pressure to achieve them even if it is something you think you want. The internal voice is saying something like “You said you want to do this and now you HAVE TO do it”. The ‘have to’ creates a feeling of obligation, which is heavy and not fun, and the time pressure creates stress, which is also not fun.
What if it was the goal that was the problem and not you?
Most people have an inner desire for freedom. They want to have a choice. As soon as they feel obligated, then that sense of freedom has gone.
Some things also take longer than we expect them to. It takes time to learn new skills, or create new habits. It takes courage to step out of your comfort zone towards something new, whether it seems scary or exciting. If you give yourself some grace to learn and grow at your natural pace, the process of achieving a goal is much more rewarding and enjoyable.
Personally I prefer goals that are directional rather than with a specific end point, and in reality most goals are like this anyway. For example, if your goal is to reach a certain weight, if you don’t continue with the same good habits you created, or you’ll end up right back where you started.
My house painting goal was part of a bigger picture of creating a beautiful home. This means that even though I’ve finished painting the bulk of my house there are still parts that need touching up or finishing off. I want to plant gardens along the front, and then there is the maintenance of keeping the house clean, gardens weeded and lawn mown – all the ongoing tasks.
Having open ended goals may involve a number or smaller projects within them, and habits to form along the way. Open ended goals also allow you the flexibility of following your glimmers, which are things that capture your attention or curiosity, that you hadn’t thought about or considered previously.
I love the idea of following your glimmers. Giving yourself permission to notice and engage with things or people that interest, inspire or excite you will take you on a journey towards a much more joyful and fulfilling life, which to me sounds like a much better way to live than setting boring, rigid and boxed-in SMART goals.
Last year, I decided to give myself permission to live a more creative life. I started a mixed media art journalling course, and different teachers inspired me in different ways. Some of the things I loved that I’d never done before were gelli plate printing, lino cutting and printing, writing with acrylic ink and a dip pen, and adding stitching to art. I discovered collage and creating abstract art. I learned to notice what inspired and excited me and ran with it.
In November 2023 a new market called Made opened in Hamilton East near where I live. On the day it opened I went in for a quick look around, and was inspired by the sewing classroom upstairs. I had a flash of excitement about the idea of sewing – something I haven’t done much of since leaving home. I had a sewing machine that I’d bought second hand, but it had never really worked very well, and an overlocker that I’d inherited from my mother. Following this flash of inspiration, I took both machines in to be serviced, and started sewing.
The next glimmer came from browsing in the Potting Shed next to the Sun Salute yoga studio after class one day. I was suddenly inspired by an apron I saw in there, and wanted to sew myself the perfect apron. Over the next month, I went on a quest to look at the different shapes, straps, pockets, fabric and fastenings used for making aprons. I made a couple of prototypes, picked them apart again, changed the length, pockets and straps until I’d designed what I decided was the perfect apron. And then I made 6 of them. Making aprons is not going to change the world, but it made me very happy.
In my goals for 2023 I hadn’t even come up with the idea of sewing, so making aprons wasn’t on my list. If I’d stuck rigidly to the goals I’d set, I might have had a successful year in terms of achieving goals, but would I have felt as happy and fulfilled? I did have a successful year in terms of some of the other things on my list, and there are still things yet to be done.
What I’ve discovered is that following your glimmers generates a lot of energy that spills out into the other areas of your life and the people around you. People who are pursuing goals that they are passionate about are energetic and happy, which makes them a lot more fun to be around than people who are beating themselves into submission to achieve something to get some kind of external accolade or reward.
In Coaching Club this week we are looking at Motivation, to understand the reasons why we do or don’t do certain things, and how to find motivation to do what inspires you, and next week we are diving into the Journey of a Goal – looking at common obstacles and pitfalls to prepare yourself better for the journey.
Coaching Club is held on Monday evenings 6:30 – 8:30, and Friday afternoons 1:30 – 3:30. Cost is $47 per session or 7 sessions for $297
To book in to the ‘Motivation’ class, click here
To book in for the ‘Journey of a ‘Goal’ click here
