How we think about things affects how we feel about them, and how we feel influences our motivation and the actions we take, or don’t take. Therefore in order to feel motivated to do anything, it helps to get our thinking aligned first. This is coaching, CBT, and hypnotherapy in a nutshell.
Understanding that our natural motivations move us away from things that are unpleasant, potentially painful, challenging or scary, and towards things that are easy, pleasant and fun, how do we motivate ourselves into action do to the boring, hard or challenging things that are a necessary part of life, or steps towards a desired goal or outcome?
Part of our conversation in Coaching Club last week was about whether you were growth oriented, or were happy with the status quo. A desire for growth means facing your fears, enduring discomfort and accepting pain. If you think about learning or embarking on anything new, there is the fear that you’re not going to be any good at it, that people might laugh at you, or you’ll make an idiot of yourself. Starting an exercise regime when you haven’t done much in years is going to hurt! There’s also the disappointment or shame when you try new things because you will make mistakes and fail until you start developing the required skills. Things may take longer to learn or it may be harder than you expect, so learning to be patient with yourself as you embark on this journey of growth will be helpful. When you are willing to go through the pain and shame and discomfort of doing something new, you will also develop the resilience to pick yourself up and dust yourself down and keep going. And when your desire to improve your life is strong enough, you will stop caring so much about what other people think.
To follow a path of growth and endure the discomfort requires a strong motivation for the desired outcome. It also help to find ways to make it more fun to keep you on track, especially if it’s a long term goal.
Let’s take a look at some different thought patterns and their potential to motivate us or not, and we’ll use exercise as an example.
Thought = “This is going to be hard, and I’m going to hurt afterwards”
Emotion = dread
Action = stay in bed and promise to start tomorrow
Result = keep putting off starting
Thought = “How can I make this fun?”
Emotion = curious
Action = think up different ways to be more active, join a dance class or bootcamp, or invite a friend to train with you
Result = get fitter and have fun at the same time
Motivation is driven by nor-adrenaline, which is a intermediate molecule between dopamine (the reward chemical), and adrenaline (the fear chemical). So fear and desire are motivating. In this modern day, many people don’t like the feeling of fear or anxiety, and want to dispel it as quickly as possible. Desire for something that you don’t have can be an equally unpleasant feeling that can come up as jealously, yearning, inadequacy, or FOMO. So in general motivation doesn’t feel good, but learning to use this motivation in a positive way will propel you in the direction of your dreams.
Your motivation to exercise may be driven by the fear of potential health problems if you don’t do it, or it may be driven by a desire to be able to do more fun stuff like biking or tramping or dancing, or a desire to look good and feel comfortable in your favourite clothes.
To stay motivated and on track requires one to keep your mind on the goal, and take steps towards the desired outcome. I have found that tracking progress visually so you can see the steps you’ve taken gives your brain a hit of dopamine, which is the reward for a job well done.
Next weeks Coaching Club sessions will be on Gamification, and we’ll be exploring different ways you can make achieving your goals fun and keep you motivated and on track. To book in for the Gamification class click here. Sessions are Monday evening 6:30 – 8:30pm, and Friday afternoon 1:30 – 3:30pm.
